Middle class family on day trip to estate agent's window

A MIDDLE  class family has decided to treat itself by going on a day trip to an estate agent’s window.

The Muir family are combining their two interests of going on an educational holiday and looking at potential properties.

Sarah Muir said: “We thought we’d exhausted all the fascinating day trip locations, like the National Slate Museum and the Emma Bridgewater factory seconds giftshop.

“But then we realised that an estate agent’s window is packed with just as much educational value as a National Trust property. Also my membership card has expired.

“Once we’ve finished cooing over the array of reasonably priced detached properties in the window and eaten our organic packed lunches in the doorway, we might head inside and arrange a viewing for fun.

“They’ll probably ask us all sorts of strange questions like ‘how much do you earn’ and ‘do you have a guarantor’. It’ll be like living in the Middle Ages or Plymouth.”

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Parents finally meet daughter's booty call

THE parents of a 26-year-old woman are excited to finally meet their daughter’s casual sex partner.

Sarah McKay’s father Bill said: “We’ve heard so much about him these past few months, we thought it was about time to meet the man who’s been sexually satisfying our daughter every other Friday after a few ciders.

“By all accounts Tom is a charming young lad who seems to be really good with his hands.”

Sarah’s mother Jane added: “They grow up so fast. Before you know it they’re bringing home the man who’s giving them orgasms on an occasional basis.”

Sarah said: “I wasn’t sure if I was ready yet, but we recently had sex on my best friend’s futon, so I think it’s the right time.”

Booty call Tom Logan, added: “I was a bit anxious to meet them at first, but I really want them to know that their daughter can count on me whenever she feels like a proper shag.”