Saturday, 7th December 2019

Woman's natural state is brunch

A WOMAN has confirmed that her natural state of being is eating avocado toast and drinking wine before noon.

Brunch enthusiast, Emma Bradford said: “A few days ago a friend of mine asked me if I fancied brunch at the weekend, to which I immediately said, 'Yes.'”

“Didn't check my diary, didn't ask where or for what reason, I just said, 'Yes. Yes, I f*cking do'.”

Professor Henry Brubaker, from the Institute for Studies, said, “For many women being in a state of brunch is far more natural than non-brunch things like working, parenting or having passive-aggressive conversations.”

Bradford added: “It doesn't even have to be in a nice restaurant. A greasy spoon cafe is fine, as long as they serve Prosecco and Bloody Marys and they don't mind if things get a bit messy.”