What are you interrupting to check your phone?

ARE you being annoying enough about obsessively checking your phone? Here are some great situations to rudely interrupt.


Whether you’re at work or in the pub, people love it when you suddenly completely blank them to check your phone. Definitely give the impression they are incredibly boring to talk to and a text about your Vodafone account is more interesting.


You could be at a part of the film where something hugely relevant to the plot is about to be revealed – but what about that thing you posted on Facebook a few hours ago? Has it still only got two likes? It’s best to pause the film or walk out of the cinema to check.


If you’re cooking a meal you’ve got to stay on top of it, so definitely go on Instagram for half an hour looking at nothing in particular and only remember it when the fire alarm goes off. If eating out, it’s good to let others know that work emails are more scintillating company than them.

Watching TV

Drive partners and friends up the wall by spending the entire programme finding out what random strangers on the internet think of it and telling them. Then have the nerve to ask what’s happening because you’ve not been paying attention, ideally during the gripping ending.


You’d think with sex you’d have to pay attention all the time, but you can still slip in a sly glance at your phone if you keep it well hidden. Or claim to be expecting a very important email so you can stop for a bit and go on Twitter.

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Middle class parents horribly smug about their kid liking olives

A MIDDLE class mum and dad are nauseatingly proud of the fact that their two-year-old likes the taste of olives.

Nathan and Sally Muir were beside themselves with joy when their toddler Oscar cheerfully ate a handful of Waitrose Finest.

Sally said: “It was such a proud mummy moment! He was munching on those pimento-stuffed Kalamatas the way lesser children eat Haribo.

“I don’t know any other child who would willingly eat an olive but I think it’s because Oscar is very advanced for his age. His first words were ‘wood burning stove’, bless him.

“And it’s not just olives. I am certain he only watches Octonauts because the squid look so delicious.”

Proud father Nathan said: “I think we can safely say a place at Oxbridge is in the bag.”