Bastard at front of ticket queue decides to plan his journey now

A MAN at the front of a queue for train tickets decided it was the perfect time to have a long, tetchy discussion with the cashier.

Despite a large number of people behind him desperate not to miss their trains, Martin Bishop felt it was fine to faff around like a fucking arse.

Queue member Emma Bradford said: “This guy started interrogating the cashier about a really complicated journey from Euston to an obscure place called Snareford or something.

“If you’re going to the back of beyond at least have some basic idea of your journey. I’m pretty sure there’s a thing you can use called ‘the fucking internet’.

“Then he spent another eight minutes arguing about the price, which was worthwhile because national rail companies are known to be open to haggling.

“By now everyone in the queue wanted to kill him. I briefly considered braining him with a bottle of prosecco my sister gave me, but it’s not worth doing time for scum like that.”

Bishop said: “It’s not right that I have to change at Watleypool and go via Sniphead and Lurton-on-Naze. Also, whoever heard of paying £33.50 for a train ticket? That’s ridiculous.”

Bishop ultimately decided to abandon his journey after 17 minutes of bitter arguing, during which eight people missed their trains but just muttered under their breath in a British way.