Being an utter cock no barrier to success

THERE is no ‘glass ceiling’ for utter cocks any more, it has been confirmed.

Donald Trump’s election success has been hailed as a victory by the cock, arsehole and bellend communities, who have for centuries struggled to gain acceptance in mainstream society.

Total cock Roy Hobbs said: “Farage gave us hope, Trump has given us freedom. No longer will being an utter penis be frowned upon.

“I can polish the ‘No Turning’ sign at the end of my driveway with pride, and drive my white 2011 BMW 7 Series right up anyone’s arse without fear of reproach.

“The world told me I was wrong. But I was right, or rather if I was wrong it doesn’t matter any more.

“I am an utter cock, hear my cry.”