Boyfriends really like being cold and want girlfriends to have all the duvet

BOYFRIENDS are more than happy to sleep without a duvet and enjoy being absolutely freezing every night, it has been confirmed.

Girlfriends across the country revealed their partners are simply being ‘pragmatic’ and that the issue has now been settled ‘once and for all’.

Megan Samuels, speaking on behalf of her boyfriend, Tom Logan, said: “He’s always enjoyed being really cold. It’s why he’s also let me have all of his hoodies and jumpers, too.

“Sometimes, during the night, when he thinks I’m sleeping, he tries to pull it back. I think it’s because he doesn’t want me to suffer the weight of the duvet on my own, so I do him a favour and snatch it back.

“Once or twice he’s also tried to tuck a foot or a bit of leg in under the duvet. He wants to be close to me because he loves me so much, but the winter months are chilly and I don’t like the feeling of his icy body on my skin, so I’ve put a stop to that.”

She added: “In the morning, he wakes up shivering with pleasure. It’s just one of the many nice things I do for him.”

Logan said: “Megan’s a wonderful girlfriend and I am very lucky to have her.”

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Man who can’t spell basic words demands you take his opinions seriously

A MAN who constantly posts his opinions on the internet does not seem to realise his spelling undermines his credibility.

Roy Hobbs thinks he is a serious commentator on issues of the day, despite using horrible misspellings like ‘probebly’, ‘interlectuals’ and ‘definately’.

Friend Emma Bradford said: “Roy hasn’t grasped that if he thinks ‘restoraunt’ is spelt like that people might realise he’s not an expert on politics, economics or any other subject.

“He’s constantly writing ‘looser’ when he means ‘loser’ and ‘lightening’ when he means ‘lightning’. When it comes to ‘there’, ‘their’ and ‘they’re’ I think he just picks one at random.

“He’s always spouting pompous reactionary crap, so a typical post will be, ‘In my estimatoin, a bridge with France would be disasterous. We do not want closure intergration with the Continant.’

Hobbs said: “Criticising someone’s spelling is a pathetic attempt to undermine valid arguments such as my view that we should ban transsexuals from TV to stop children thinking it’s ‘cool’.”