Brexit ‘won’t be like Mad Max’ says Davis, in obvious sign that it will be

DAVID Davis has insisted that Brexit will not be a ‘Mad Max dystopia’ in the clearest sign yet that it will be exactly that.

The Brexit secretary’s statement has allowed millions of Britons to begin forming tribes that will  kill each other for clean water and petrol.

Bill McKay, from Coventry, said: “When he says ‘we will continue our track record of high standards’ after Brexit he means ‘Arm yourselves, for devastation is coming which only the ruthless and brutal will survive’.

“I can finally make those modifications to my ride-on lawnmower.”

Davis said: “Post-Brexit we will not, repeat not, become a desert roamed by murderous psychopaths seeking to terrorize the innocent and I will not lead them wearing armour made from Michel Barnier’s bones.”