A VICTORIOUS Brexiter is still something of a loser in the overall sense, it has emerged.
Although 42-year-old Wayne Hayes is pleased that Article 50 will be triggered next week, his argumentative nature means that he lives alone in a dingy ‘studio flat’ and has microwave meals for his dinner most nights.
Hayes’s sister Emma Bradford said: “Although I voted Remain, I was actually slightly pleased when the Leavers won because it’s nice that something finally worked out for Wayne.
“Deep down he’s not a bad guy but hasn’t ever been the same since his childhood sweetheart left him for the town bully.
“Clearly he should let go of that anger and frustration rather than channelling it into an irrational loathing of the French, but nobody’s perfect.”
Hayes said: “Victory tastes so sweet, almost as sweet as the ‘Lidl 1 x Microwave Beef Meal with Gravy’ I’m having for my tea tonight.
“Because that’s how you roll when you’re a winner.”