Brexiter ‘taking back control’ has 800 Pot Noodles

A SUPPORTER of Brexit has been forced to stockpile a large number of Pot Noodles ‘just in case’, he has admitted.

Plumber Wayne Hayes insists he is still thrilled about being free from the EU, despite his garage now looking as though it belongs to a survivalist with very unadventurous tastes.

Hayes said: “I still believe no deal will be fine, but I’m the teeniest bit concerned about what will happen if people are bludgeoning each other in Morrisons for the last banana.

“Don’t get me wrong, I think all this stuff about shafting the economy is Project Fear, but I don’t want to be hungry while I’m enjoying my lovely sovereignty and blue passport.

“I’m not much of a cook so I stockpiled Chicken & Mushroom Pot Noodles. There’s plenty of variety because I’ve got 300 Beef & Tomato ones and 10 Bombay Bad Boys for a Saturday night curry.  

“Besides, I’ve heard Nigel Farage eats five Pot Noodles a day and he looks great on it. Although I did read that on a Brexit Facebook page so there’s a slight chance it may be bollocks.”

Remain-voting neighbour Stephen Malley said: “If it’s all going to be fine I’m sure Wayne won’t mind ‘lending’ me a few Pot Noodles when I pop round with my special Brexit cricket bat.”