Saturday, 8th May 2021

Man who rejects global warming firmly believes Star Wars will come true

A MAN who rejects the evidence for global warming does believe that a Death Star will one day be built in space.

Nathan Muir, 38, insists climate change is ‘made up nonsense’ while claiming the technology needed to make lightsabres feasible has already been invented but is being 'suppressed by the Woodland Trust'.

Muir said: “These scientists are just selfish bastards trying to scare people into not flying abroad so they can always get a good spot on the beach and chat up sexy foreigners.

“They’re wasting time that could be used for developing landspeeders and hyperdrives. We should be worrying about the Sith Lords taking over the galaxy rather than a handful of inefficient polar bears.”

He added: “Global warming is an example of a 'Jedi mind trick'. The Earth is more likely to turn into Hoth than Tatooine.”

Muir’s girlfriend Emma Bradford said: “When we first met last October, I was so sure that Nathan’s Star Wars obsession was something he would grow out of once he became sexually active.”