Brexiters told to try walking away with 'no deal' in everyday life and see how that works for them

BREXITERS keen on leaving the EU with no deal have been told to try walking away without a deal in their personal transactions. 

Tory MPs, Daily Telegraph writers and ordinary Leave voters have agreed to threaten shopkeepers, train conductors and energy providers with walking away deal-free, which they are certain will be brilliant. 

Nathan Muir, from Birmingham, said: “The deal at Starbucks this morning was not in my interests, so I told them they needed me more than I needed them and left. Kept my money. Didn’t get a coffee though. 

“It was much the same story at lunchtime at Subway, and at Pret, and at Greggs. The woman there said to me ‘You’re not our only customer,’ which I felt was rude like the EU but I was too hungry to argue. 

“The bus driver wouldn’t even let me on. Even though I told him ultimately he would be hurting the viability of his bus if I walked away. ‘Go on then, fuck off,’ he said. 

“So it’s 7pm, I’m still in the city centre, I’m starving, I don’t know how I’m going to get home but I’ve still got some pocket change. If this is some kind of a metaphor then I don’t get it.” 

Passer-by Mary Fisher said: “Has he tried believing in himself? That’s meant to work.” 

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Britons confirm they'll vote for anything as long as they never hear the word 'Brexit' again

EVERYONE in Britain has confirmed they will happily vote for absolutely anything as long as they do not have to ever hear the word ‘Brexit’ ever again.

The Institute for Studies found that whether they had voted Leave or Remain, banishing the word ‘Brexit’ from the language was now the biggest priority.

Annoyed man, Tom Booker said: “I’d vote for Idi Amin if it just meant I didn’t have to hear Brexit ever, and I mean ever, a-fucking-gain.

“Not even in a historical context either. If some history teacher wants to talk about Brexit they can just say, ‘that two year bout of constipation’. I’m pretty sure the kids would get what they meant.”

Annoyed woman, Nikki Hollis added: “At least change the name of it. It was a made up name to begin with anyway. Just make up another one. Like ‘shandwhich’.”

“Brexit is Britain’s Exit and shandwich is shit sandwich. Same thing.”