BREXITERS keen on leaving the EU with no deal have been told to try walking away without a deal in their personal transactions.
Tory MPs, Daily Telegraph writers and ordinary Leave voters have agreed to threaten shopkeepers, train conductors and energy providers with walking away deal-free, which they are certain will be brilliant.
Nathan Muir, from Birmingham, said: “The deal at Starbucks this morning was not in my interests, so I told them they needed me more than I needed them and left. Kept my money. Didn’t get a coffee though.
“It was much the same story at lunchtime at Subway, and at Pret, and at Greggs. The woman there said to me ‘You’re not our only customer,’ which I felt was rude like the EU but I was too hungry to argue.
“The bus driver wouldn’t even let me on. Even though I told him ultimately he would be hurting the viability of his bus if I walked away. ‘Go on then, fuck off,’ he said.
“So it’s 7pm, I’m still in the city centre, I’m starving, I don’t know how I’m going to get home but I’ve still got some pocket change. If this is some kind of a metaphor then I don’t get it.”
Passer-by Mary Fisher said: “Has he tried believing in himself? That’s meant to work.”