Britain to revisit golden age of chucking shopping trolleys in rivers
THE new pound coin has forced Tesco to unlock its trolleys, most of which are expected to end up in Britain’s waterways in the next few days.
Fans of mindless vandalism are gearing up for several weeks of trolley-based shenanigans whilst the superstore modifies its locks to accept the new 12-sided coins.
Vandal Emma Bradshaw said: “Before supermarkets introduced those annoying locks I would often nick a trolley, take it down to the canal and just sling it in. There was no point to it, but I liked doing it.
“Rivers and streams were littered with trolleys, creating terrible eyesores and traps for fish. If you chucked a few in at the right point you could even cause a flood. It was a special time.
“And then everyone gave up on it because they had to put a pound in to get a trolley and they wanted their pound back when they’d done their shopping.
“It’s hardly a massive financial incentive, especially when you consider the pure, unadulterated joy of watching a floating fag packet get jammed in a wheel. You can’t put a price on that.”