CRETINS are remembering the summer of 2012, when David Cameron was prime minister and the UK was two years into austerity, as some kind of Golden Age.
According to clueless amnesiacs the period when Britain was recovering from the financial crisis, rioting in the streets and discovering the phone-hacking scandal was a great time to be alive because of Jessica Ennis.
Tom Logan, aged 36, said: “Wow, remember that opening ceremony? Our country truly bestrode the world like a colossus. Would that those times could come again.
“Yes we were in double-dip recession, businesses were going bust, Nick Clegg existed and it pissed down all summer long, but it was incredible when Greg Rutherford won gold in the long jump.”
Nikki Hollis of Northampton agreed: “James Bond, Rowan Atkinson, David Beckham in a speedboat and the Queen jumping out of a plane. Everything should be like that permanently.
“Since then we’ve had Brexit, Corbyn, May, Adele losing her voice, my husband running off with a teaching assistant and season eight of Game of Thrones. Everything’s gone to shit.
“I’m just glad the Olympic stadium was sold off on the cheap to a football club owned by a mass-market pornographer. That’s the spirit of 2012 right there.”