Entire office rendered unable to work by knowledge of cake in kitchen

AN entire floor of staff was unable to work for close to an hour because of the presence of a colleague’s birthday cake, they have admitted. 

The chocolate fondant cake, placed in plain view in the office kitchen, halted all productivity while employees strategised how to be best placed for its unveiling.

Account executive Sue Traherne said: “It’s a Mexican stand-off in here. We may look like we’re typing but every single person is in a cat-like state of readiness.

“Officially I’m writing a presentation, but all I’m thinking of is how fast I’ll need to move once the plates are out and the casual way I’ll remark ‘Oh, there’s cake is there?’

“I tried to concentrate, but the pie charts became slices of cake before my very eyes. There’s no room to relax. If I’m distracted by work for even a second I’ll be left with the shame of a dry corner slice.”

Cake-buyer Stephen Malley said: “It’s the greatest birthday gift there is watching them squirm every time I walk past the kitchen and clear my throat as if to announce there’s cake in there.

“It’s not even that nice a cake. But everyone knows that’s not the point.”