NASTY towns across Britain are being subjected to a Christmas visit from the Pepsi Max Cherry truck.
The truck is stopping in communities that have fewer than three places to buy books, an out-of-town McDonalds, one independent mobile phone shop and, inexplicably, a thriving amateur dramatics scene.
Families in towns including Tiverton, Greenock, Merthyr Tydfil and Middlesbrough are reluctantly turning out to see the medium-sized lorry spew its foul tasting contents into their streets.
Extinguishing a cigarette on the side of the truck, driver Wayne Hayes said: “We’re going all over the country spreading Christmas cheer. Look, this wasn’t my first choice either.”
He added: “I feel kind of sorry for these people, but at least they’re not getting a visit from the Pepsi Max Ginger Transit van.
“That’s just for Sunderland.”