INCREASINGLY narcissistic Britons only want to have sex with themselves, it has emerged.
New research has revealed people in the UK are having less sex, primarily because no other humans are awesome enough.
31-year-old Tom Booker said: When Im not posting pictures of me on social media, Im admiring my well-proportioned silhouette as reflected the screen of my phone.
I am some hot shit and I cannot stop thinking about me and wanting me.
Other people dont really know what I like in bed, and they tend to go on about themselves afterwards.
Marketing consultant Nikki Hollis said: I broke up with myself for a bit, but I found I kept comparing my boyfriends to me.
One day my partner caught me looking at old pictures of myself and went mental.
Now Im back in a solo partnership and it feels good, even if sometimes I suspect I really hate me.