AS snow continues to fall, Britons are being encouraged to take up arms against it.
With forecasters predicting more of the wearisome white flakes, experts have warned that Britain’s snow population is out of control.
Across the South West, civilians are forming ‘snow death squads’, using baseball bats, guns and knives to kill the snow.
Meteorologist Roy Hobbs said: “If we let the snow continue to multiply it will push out Britain’s indigenous weather.”
“Wherever you see snow, stamp on it or hit it with a cricket bat.
“Even just a single snowflake, or to use the correct term ‘a snow’ must be destroyed.
“‘See a snow, kill a snow’ is our motto and your civic duty.”
Father-of-two Roy Hobbs said: “The best way to kill a snow is to stab it in the heart, right in the middle of the tiny, near-invisible symmetrical pattern.
“This is going to take quite a long time.”
He added: “I tried firing my air gun into the sky but that only seemed to make it angry.”