Britons urged to learn foreign

A NEW campaign is urging Britons to improve their grasp of foreign.

THE 1,000 Words of Foreign campaign hopes to challenge the assumption that people from the UK are lazy linguists.

A spokesman said: “Standards have slipped but it’s not too late. Foreign is a really interesting language and includes many words you already you, like ‘pizza’ and ‘garcon’.”

27-year-old Tom Logan said: “Jesus, I only know about 80 words of English and now they want me to learn foreign?

“It’s not like when I go on holiday I want stimulating cultural discourse with local people and learn about their way of life.

“I just want to get pissed.”

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Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob

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The finale of Dexter sees him killed by the bloke who used to sell him his arrows. Fairly obvious bit of casting for that role.

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Pisces (20 FEB-20 MAR)
For the last month the top lenses in your bifocals have been broken, meaning you’ve been unable to  read internet articles, just the comments underneath. As a result you’ve assumed everyone on the planet has had a serious head injury.

Aries (21 MAR-19 APR)
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Taurus (20 APRIL – 20 MAY)
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Gemini (21 MAY-20 JUN)
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Virgo (23 AUG-22 SEP)
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