FRUSTRATED broadband customers have decided to pay ‘up to’ all of their bill.
As it emerged that you have to get up at 4am to watch Breaking Bad on Netflix without it buffering all the fucking time, consumers decided enough was enough.
Father-of-two Tom Logan said: “My internet connection is like an elderly man with prostate problems trying to urinate.
“I understood that I may not have got the absolute maximum broadband speed when I signed up, however I would still quite like it to fucking work.
“So I’ve decided that it’s fine to pay a monthly sum of money that is virtually nothing compared with what I originally offered to pay.
“If my service provider complains, they’ll be able to find my contact number on my website, hidden right down the bottom of the fucking page in a tiny font.
“Then I’ll keep them on hold for an hour, playing Doctor Alban at deafening volume, before politely telling them that they don’t matter.”
Broadband provider CEO Julian Cook said: “I suppose this is what my Mumbai call centre operatives would describe as ‘karma’.”