AN annoying twat in an office has asked if the blinds can be closed because he cannot see his screen.
Martin Bishop, 41, has demanded that the outside world and the rare opportunity to see actual sunlight, which is gladdening everyone’s heart, be closed off so he can better populate a spreadsheet.
Colleague Sarah Muir said: “I get up in the dark. I go home in the dark. I can’t go out for lunch because I’ve got meetings.
“I need the sight of sunlight on trees, of birds flitting about, of busy squirrels gathering nuts for winter and that whiny little twat is taking it away from me.
“I’ve angled the blinds so there’s no sunlight on his screen at all, so his dull, bovine mind can focus on its repetitive task without the unwanted intrusion of joy, but he says it’s ‘distracting’ him. Tit.”
Muir added: “I’m senior to him but he’s in charge of printer cartridges so there’s no choice. But know this, Martin: I will hate you until the end of my days.”
Bishop said: “Has she got her headphones on now? Tell her to take them off. It’s rude.”