AN ASSISTED living facility has had to abandon its annual wet T-shirt contest after the surrounding area was issued with a hosepipe pan, it has emerged.
The Orchard Gardens Care Home in Swindon has disappointed staff and visitors after it decided to call off its much-anticipated contest where residents are soaked through until their skimpy tops look transparent.
Resident Margaret Gerving, 87, said: “I’m gutted. If we’re running out of water everyone should just drink more whisky. Never did me any harm.
“My granddaughter bought me a new, thin white crop top especially for the occasion, which will go to waste now. It’s too racy to wear on a daily basis, but I’m so competitive I’ll slip into anything to impress the judges.
“It’s such a shame. I was really looking forward to popping on my Daisy Dukes and wringing a sponge over my wrinkly double Ds. When you get to my age you’re grateful for any attention you can get.
“The stakes are especially high for me because I’ve got a reigning champion title to defend. Plus there’s no guarantee I’ll live to see next year’s contest.”
Carer Nikki Hollis said: “T-shirts may be off limits but we can probably go ahead with a wet trousers contest. It’s not like we can stop the incontinent residents from pissing themselves anyway.”
