Central Line trains get stuck in fifth circle of Hell

THERE have been severe delays to London Underground’s Central Line because of difficulty crossing the swampy waters of the river Styx.

The 08.30 from Ealing Broadway met with delay when it entered the fifth circle of Hell, a muddy, rancid swamp where the wrathful ruthlessly attack one another and the sullen lie gurgling beneath the water, just outside Mile End.

Many questioned the decision to extend the Central Line in 2005 to serve the labyrinthine abyss of the damned, and their concerns seem to have been justified.

Commuter Tom Logan said: “There are always problems on that part of the line between Marble Arch and the desert of flaming sands inhabited by the usurers.

“We’re always getting stuck there for four or five minutes listening to the howls of the condemned and trying to ignore the stench of death.”

Transport for London has apologised to all those waiting on platforms and those who have been left stranded in Hell.

TFL spokesman Nathan Muir said: “At the moment Central Line trains are running with a delay of approximately an aeon.

“We’re sorry for any inconvenience, but that’s still marginally more reliable than the Hammersmith and City line.”