ED Sheeran chose capitalism over doing the right thing: repeating what me and my mates tell him to and cancelling his tour. And these monsters also made bad choices:
Jeff Bezos
An appalling billionaire capitalist in a crowded field. Amazon is evil in so many ways: poor working conditions in its warehouses, tonnes of unnecessary packaging, drivers forced to wee in bottles. Whenever I buy new earbuds with next-day delivery, I feel like a Nazi collaborator in occupied France.
The Beatles
Like Ed Sheeran, remaining Beatles Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr refuse to speak out about the plight of the Palestinians. Or if they have I’ve not noticed. And despite amassing vast rentier fortunes from songs written decades ago they refuse to give back to the society they have benefited from, as they brazenly admit in the 1966 song Taxman.
Boots
Rennies, Panadol, Gaviscon – all vital medications sold at a hefty mark-up instead of being available to the unwell at cost. Meanwhile their Meal Deals fuel the capitalist machine by providing lunch for oppressed wage slaves. Why not just sell whips and cattle prods, Boots? Also boots are what Mussolini wore.
Bruce Wayne
I’m sick of our society hero-worshipping billionaires like Bruce Wayne. Does he ever set up creches for his staff or improve workplace safety? Meanwhile in every film he’s in we see Batman working tirelessly to help the people of Gotham City without reward while Bruce ignorantly quaffs champagne on rooftops. What a contrast.
The Apprentice
Disgusting propaganda that tried to pass off capitalism as entertainment. Though if you did want to bring down the capitalist system, the quickest way would be to put knobheads like Saira Khan and Ruth Badger in charge.
Albert Arkwright
The ruthless business owner Arkwright in Open All Hours built his wealth on the back of the proletariat, Granville. And like so many wealthy men, he believed he was entitled to women’s bodies, going so far as to non-consensually place a ladder below Nurse Gladys’s bedroom window. Should we call him Arkwright, or Trump?
Hamsters
These arch-capitalists hoard wealth as assiduously as any billionaire, just in the form of seeds and nuts in their cheeks. I’ve tried to shift their consciousness to egalitarian socialism but instead they run in wheels all night and used the copy of Das Kapital I left in there as bedding. Bloody useless.
