Child with ‘Santa truther’ parents about to f**k shit up on playground
A CHILD whose parents have told him the truth about Santa is about create utter chaos in a school playground.
Five-year-old Ocean – the son of progressive parents – is preparing to blow some minds with his truth bomb about Father Christmas.
His mother, Greta, explained: “We don’t lie to Ocean about anything, and that includes the pernicious capitalistic deception that presents come from Santa.
“Ocean understands that all of his gifts – predominantly wooden figures representing important characters from literature – came from me and his father, and his nanny, Katya.”
Ocean is now preparing to run around the playground breaking the news at the top of his voice, prompting widespread confusion and distress.
His parents’ policy of openness will also lead to a revelation about an affair between another pupil’s father and their teacher.