Friday, 3rd July 2020

Chumbawamba statue back up again

A STATUE of left-wing band Chumbawumba pulled down last week is already back up again, it has emerged. 

The bronze likeness of the agitprop one-hit wonders in the centre of their hometown Burnley was toppled by a cheering crowd last week but has somehow been re-erected.

Resident Ryan Whittaker said: “A lot of residents were angry that Danbert Nobacon, Boff Whalley, Alice Nutter and the ones with normal names had a statue when heroes like Jay Rodriguez, who scored 21 goals in a season when we were in the Championship, didn’t.

“So we – coincidentally a bunch of right-wing skinheads with nowt to do because the pubs are shut – pulled it down and chucked it in the river Brun, to show those lefties in Bristol a lesson.

“But a week later I’m walking through the town and it’s back up again, all of them, poncing around pretending to throw their gold record like a frisbee. It’s disrespectful.

“To be honest it’s not the first time we’ve pushed the f**ker over, but it keeps going back up again. Sometimes I think we’re never going to keep it down.

“Christ, I need a drink. Whiskey, vodka, lager, cider, whatever.”