Clothes enter fifth day in washing machine

A WOMAN’S clothes have entered their fifth day trapped in the washing machine with no escape in sight. 

The mixed wash, comprising tops, leggings, two pairs of jeans and underwear, finished their one-hour wash over 118 hours ago and fear they may have been forgotten. 

Pyjama top Helen Archer said: “It’s never been this long before. We could be in real danger. 

“She’s around – we can see her walking about through the porthole – but she seems oblivious to the fact that we’re in here, soaking, cold. 

“There’s a pair of knickers that are delicates, and we’ve been trying to keep them going but I honestly don’t know if they’ll last another night. 

“Please. The purple top says it used to be your favourite. Remember us.” 

Owner Susan Traherne said: “Shit, is that washing still in? It’ll stink like old leaves by now, I’ll put it on again. 

“Oh, I forgot I’m away for the weekend.”