Coca-Cola selfie stick no more than our civilization deserves

A SELFIE stick emblazoned with the Coke logo more or less sums up where we are as a society, it has been confirmed.

Experts agree that a branded plastic rod that assists the narcissism of cretins is the perfect symbol for humanity in 2015.

Professor Henry Brubaker, of the Institute for Studies, said: “Civilizations of the past left their mark on the world by building great cities, or awe-inspiring monuments, or taming their natural environment.”

“We, by contrast, think the height of cultural achievement is to take pictures of our idiot faces while simultaneously advertising a corporate behemoth that hawks brown sugary piss.

“It’s not exactly the Colossus of Rhodes, is it?”

27-year old Tom Booker from Bedford said: “I used to worry that I would never be able to express who I was to future generations. But thanks to my Coca-Cola selfie stick, posterity will understand that I am a preening simpleton in hock to consumerism and vanity.”