A 13-YEAR-OLD from a posh Home Counties town is demanding full communism for the United Kingdom.
Julian Cook, who first discovered communism when his father mentioned how much it annoyed him last year, is now a full-fledged Red with a Mao poster on his bedroom wall who tweets as @MarxStan1917.
Wearing a Supreme hoodie and waiting for his mum to pick him up from the cinema, Cook said: “There is no ethical consumption under capitalism. Stalin was misunderstood. Nationalise all property.
“Jeremy Corbyn’s a stooge and a running dog as far as I’m concerned. He’ll be up against the wall with the rest of them once the revolution comes and the people take charge.
“I’ve not really spoken to any of the proletariat yet, but I don’t need to to know what’s best for them. Pol Pot studied in Paris and he was one of the greatest revolutionaries of all time.
“The only thing that went wrong with all the communisms of the past was America bombing them. Otherwise we’d be living in a utopia now, instead of this hellscape where I haven’t even got a car.”
Cook’s Key Stage 3 comrades agree that the only way forward is under a British version of Maoism, a theory they discuss while eating Waitrose blue corn organic tortilla chips and playing Fortnite.