Couple who bought house in arse end of nowhere convincing themselves it’s a ‘really great place to live’

A COUPLE who bought a house in an affordable-but-shit area are trying to convince themselves it’s great.

Francesca Johnson and partner Martin Bishop recently purchased a house in a semi-industrial purgatory called Lubton Bishop and have been trying very hard to make the best of it, even though the view from their living room window is of an chemical plant.

Johnson said: “Most people can’t get on the property ladder at all and we’ve had the good fortune to snap up this one-and-a-half bedroom fixer upper ‘project home’ for just a quarter of a million pounds.

“You can’t find it on a map, but it’s sort of between Luton and Stevenage, so still puts Martin within reach of his job in London with a commute of just three short hours, on a good day.

“And I’m lucky enough to stay home with the baby, which gives me plenty of time to scrape the mould off the walls and phone the police when kids set the hedge on fire.”

Bishop added: “It’s really up-and-coming. There’s a funky little independent shop called ‘Londis’ where they sell quirky things like newspapers and crisps.

“Really, we love it. Honestly. I promise.”