A COUPLE who spent all day cleaning their house have pretended they think it’s like a pig sty.
Lying bastards Eleanor Shaw and Tom Logan spent hour frenziedly mopping and hoovering, only to pretend that the house is still below their normal standards.
Shaw said: “We’re so sorry about the mess. We’ve just been so busy with our important jobs and stimulating social lives.
“Don’t even look at that pile of tasteful art books, because one of them’s slightly out of alignment.
“How very embarrassing this all is.”
Guest Nathan Muir said: “They’ve clearly taken a day off work to sort this place out. While they’re terrible actors, it’s nice to know they care so much what we think of them.
“That said, I’m not sure how we ended up being mates with such superficial dickheads.”