Couple's new home to reflect their unique taste in IKEA

A COUPLE are filling their new home with carefully-selected items from a little shop called IKEA.

Carolyn and Joe Ryan recently bought their first place and seized the opportunity to make a home that expresses their distinctive passion for pushing a trolley around a maze-like warehouse.

Carolyn Ryan said: “It was exciting to have our own place, where we can express ourselves in exactly the same way that everyone else has.

“Like virtually everyone else on the planet, we bought a couple of Billy bookcases and filled them with books interspersed with randomly placed pots, photo frames and souvenirs.

“All the trinkets really mean something to us – from places like Thailand where loads of people go travelling, or Budapest, where literally everyone we know has been for a weekend bender.”

Joe added: “We stopped short of buying generic IKEA art because, like everyone else, we consider ourselves a little bit more original than that.

“Instead we bought Ikea frames and filled them with the alternative and artfully shot wedding photos that we and everyone else have. The one on the landing is just a close-up of our wedding rings next to Carolyn’s bouquet.

“It’s so us – although of course it could also be anyone.”

The Daily Mash in your inbox
privacy

Cricket reclassified as 'cheaty sport'

CRICKET has been officially reclassified as one of the world’s ‘cheaty’ sports, along with cycling and sprinting.

Following the confession of ball-tampering by Australia captain Steve Smith, the sport is now registered as one where results are likely to be dishonest but which you can still enjoy if you like. 

A spokesman for the International Cricket Council said: “It’s fine, it’s still the same old cricket. It’s just a bit cheaty.

“There are some sports that are basically honest, like football and tennis, some that you have to keep an eye on, like Formula One and rugby, and some that are simply dishonest by nature like cycling, athletics and now cricket. 

“It’s liberating, in a way. Now we don’t have to pretend to be an actual sport with regulations we can make it much more exciting, with unlikely twists and turns like England winning a Test. 

“Australia can take a belt sander to the ball in the next match if they like. The crowd are all pissed anyway.”