Craft ale pub has 988 very similar types of beer

AN East London ‘craft ale’ pub offers almost a thousand largely indistinguishable artisan beers.

The on-trend hostelry, which has its own micro-brewery and is run by young men with tattoos, boasts of having the most bewildering selection of similar ales in the capital.

Landlord Tom Booker said: “Thanks to our commitment to traditional brewing techniques, we’ve been able to develop a massive range of ales going from light brown to slightly darker brown.

“They all taste of beer but in a very slightly different way.

“Boring corporate pubs only offer four or five types of pint. That’s not enough choice to make the ordering process really long-winded.”

Customer Emma Bradford said: “I like how you can try a small sample, before nodding knowledgeably as if you can tell ‘Hoxton Sky’ from ‘Butcher’s Hook’.

“Actually I just go for the one that has the most colourful label.”

28-year-old Wayne Hayes said: “When I’m with friends I recommend ‘Soldier’s Arm’ and ‘Terrier’, for no other reason than it makes me look like I know something about something.”

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Moshi Monsters criticised over obscene names

CHILDREN’S game Moshi Monsters has been attacked by parents for having characters named Cockmonger, Twatsy and Big Arsehole.

Twatsy, a vertically-smiling monster described as “icky, sticky and all too picky,” by the popular web-based game, is one of many beasts parents object to.

Mother of two Joanna Kramer said she was horrified when her son kept shouting the name of his favourite character, Fuckface, across the playground.

She continued: “Within the context of the game it’s perfectly acceptable – the character’s face is in poor condition – but there is the danger that children could begin using it as an insult.

“As a busy parent it can be hard, when you hear your little ones shouting ‘pissgargler’ and ‘fannyfart’ at each other, to know if they’re playing a game that stimulates computer literacy and learning or just being rude.”

Moshi Monsters creator Stephen Malley said: “What parents don’t understand, and kids do, is that these names are just a bit of fun.

“If you take characters like Spunkguzzler, Wankhands, Turdnosher and Stupid Fucking Bastard seriously I pity your lack of imagination.

“It also gives children a chance to develop swearing skills.”

Mrs Kramer’s son, six-year-old Theo Kramer, said: “My favourites are Shitweasel, Knob Jockey, Whore Tits and the bad guy Rimjob.

“And I know mummy likes Moshi Monsters really because I heard her and daddy playing it and shouting the characters’ names at each other when I’m in bed.”