Thursday, 29th October 2020

Dad secretly relieved son got fewer GCSEs than him

A FATHER privately punched the air when he learned that his son only got six GCSEs compared with his own nine.

Martin Bishop had been anxious for months that his son, Kyle, would exceed his own tally and thereby prove himself the most intelligent male in the house.

But even after the government U-turn and teacher assessments, it turned out that Kyle still failed three of his exams, a source of great joy to his dad.

Bishop said: “Like any father, I offered my son a consoling hug and told him I was proud of him. Only when he went off to meet up with friends did I let out a massive ‘YESSS!’.

“I worked hard for my GCSEs and it would have cheapened my achievement if my apathetic, smartphone-addled pipsqueak of a son had outshone me.

“He seemed to be knuckling down at one point, which concerned me. So I told him, ‘Son, lighten up, go and have a drink with your mates. Maybe every night.’ And he did.

“So what? He won’t go to Hallam ‘university’ to graduate in Adele Studies, boo hoo. I win.”