A PAIR of grandparents have reacted with disbelief and anger upon being gifted a school photo of their grandchild, it has emerged.
Elderly couple Martin and Helen Bishop initially believed the awkward photo of their gurning grandson in a crumpled school uniform was a sick joke before the awful truth gradually dawned on them.
Granddad Martin said: “Seriously, is this it? A formal 12-by-15 snap of a little shit who eats all our biscuits? No. Not good enough. Try again, only much harder.
“We raised you, fed you, clothed you, provided you with free childcare, and this is how you repay us? With this insult? Hope you weren’t looking forward to inheriting our house and life savings because you’re getting written out of the will this evening.”
Nan Helen added: “Seeing your feckless sponge once a month is bad enough. What makes you think we’d want to see his gormless mug beaming away at us every day from the mantelpiece? He’s not even got his f**king eyes open.
“Here’s a clue for what to get us next year: rum. Let me write it down for you, I don’t want you to forget. Captain Morgan, one point five litre.”