Diverse London bus inspires anti-racist rant

A WOMAN on a London bus suddenly launched into a monologue condemning racism, it has emerged.

39-year-old office administrator Helen Archer was on a packed bus in Kensal Rise when she noticed a white man and a black man assisting a Muslim woman with a pushchair.

She said: “All these different types of people come over here, and they live alongside each other perfectly well.

“It’s good.”

Archer then stood up and directed her forward-thinking monologue at the entire bus carriage: “Look at all the many races on this bus. Once you strip away the external differences like skin tone and hat type they all have the same basic human needs and desires.

“It’s very reassuring that we all learn to enjoy each other’s art, music and food even if it seems strange at first. Maybe humanity does have a chance.

“Racism can fuck off.”

She added: “Thanks everyone. Sorry didn’t mean to swear.”

Fellow passenger Roy Hobbs said: “That was pretty awkward but overall a much higher quality of rant than we’re used to on this route.

“As ever I kept staring intently at my Metro throughout, but I was listening and taking it on board.”

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Man unable to feel clean after strange car parked in his space

A MAN fears he will never feel clean again after finding a strange car parked directly outside his house.

Joseph Turner, from Peterborough, was forced to park just around the corner and suffered a humiliating 30-yard walk to his front door with lots of people staring at him.

He said: “It was a red Ford Focus, just sitting there in violation of every unwritten law of home ownership.

“If it had been parked carelessly – one tyre on the pavement, one off – then I might have felt able to call the police, but it was a textbook park, one-and-a-half inches from the kerb.

“I burst in, ready to accuse my wife of having an affair, but she was red-eyed and crying in the kitchen, helplessly asking me how this had happened.

“By the time we’d comforted each other it was gone, driven off as if it had never been there, but I see it my nightmares.”

He added: “I thought I was safe, but I guess none of us ever truly are.”