A PET dog cannot wait for his owners to come back so they can see how he has remodelled the house.
Two-year-old mongrel Ronnie decided to spend the day throwing a few things around, destroying some other things and hiding to wait for the gleeful reaction.
He said: “Why today? I dunno. I guess I just felt in that creative mood.
“I started with the skirting boards; I thought ‘you know, I’m bored of seeing those things and I bet everyone else is, so why don’t I just chew ‘em up and rip ‘em out.’
“Then I went crazy with the cushions, I mean really crazy, ripping them to shreds and throwing them everywhere and yes, the feathers made me vomit but you can’t make an omelette without breaking a few eggs.
“After that I dug up the carpet, pissed in the kitchen and lay down for a little bit of a rest. They are gonna be so thrilled when they see this. They’ll be saying ‘good boy’ for months.
“Unless I’ve made a terrible, terrible mistake.”