‘Donate Notre Dame money to different charity’ says man who has never donated to anything

A MAN who has never given money to charity has decided there are worthier causes than Notre Dame Cathedral.

Since part of the historic building was destroyed by fire, Wayne Hayes has become a self-declared expert on environmental and humanitarian issues without ever putting his hand in his pocket.

People across the world have pledged to match each donation with a bad-faith argument about why the money should be spent on something else. So far, there has been no knock-on effect for other charities.

Hayes said: “I can’t believe people are giving money to fix some building when there are people starving in the world, probably. In Ethiopia, I reckon. Is that still a thing? If I was going to give money to something, it would be something like that.”

Becoming angrier, Hayes added: “I can’t believe British people are giving money to some church in France when there are churches right here in Britain that need new roofs.

“Someone should do something about this. Not me, obviously. But someone.”