Monday, 25th May 2020

Man's high IQ has not stopped him wanking on about it

A MAN with a very high IQ score has not used his intelligence to realise that everyone would like him to shut the fuck up about it.

After scoring 146 in a dubious online test, office worker Nathan Muir now believes he is supernaturally intelligent and must inform what he calls ‘ordinary people’ of the fact.

Colleague Emma Bradford said: “Nathan tries to shoehorn his IQ into the conversation in really blatant ways. If he’s so fucking clever you’d think he’d be a bit more subtle about it.

“Today he randomly said ‘What is intelligence?’ and tried to get a discussion going. When that didn’t work he emailed everyone a link to an IQ test ‘Just for a bit of fun!’.

“Clearly his incredible intelligence does not include the ability to perceive that no one gives a shit. Or the fact that he is still just a twat in an office, not Professor Xavier out of the X-Men.”

Muir said: “I’ve discreetly mentioned my IQ a few dozen times on Facebook and LinkedIn, so I expect soon I’ll be given a top job with the government or asked to help NASA.

“I’ve got some very interesting ideas if you fancy chatting about them. I’ll buy the coffees. Where are you going? The cafeteria’s this way.”