AN unbearable twat wants you to think about ‘some weekends that might work’ for a meet up now restrictions have eased.
As the UK heads into a summer with no prohibitions, pressure to socialise with people you have been able to avoid without offending for a year is reaching an all-time high.
Tom Logan, who has been asked to get back to Oli about some dates, said: “I’m used to only seeing the three people I’m comfortable spending time with, which includes the cashier at my local corner shop.
“The idea of having to open my time up to people who might want to chat for longer than three minutes, or who might expect me to wear trousers, is overwhelming.
“Why can’t people understand I’ve enjoyed having nothing to do, nowhere to go and no twats to see?”
Eager planner Helen Archer said: “I like to have friends booked in several weeks in advance, so I have a constant stream of people I can show off to about how much weight I lost and money I saved during lockdown.
“I feel like Tom is dragging his heels and isn’t that enthusiastic about seeing me. I can’t imagine why.”