Driver with lights on full beam just concerned for your safety

A MAN who drives everywhere with his headlights on full beam believes he is making the road safe for everyone.

Bill McKay, from Hatfield, said that until Britain was ‘comprehensively illuminated’, he felt obliged to drive around projecting as much light onto the road as possible.

McKay, who drives a Volvo V50, added: “I know everyone is grateful. People are constantly flashing their lights and honking their horns in appreciation.

“One man even threw an apple at my car and shouted something that seemed passionately supportive. I do this for others, so it is nice to be appreciated.

“I’m not a hero, though some sort of community safety award would be a lovely gesture.”

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Secret to happiness ‘is to ignore everyone and everything’

PURE contentment can be attained by paying no attention to anything around you, experts have confirmed.

The Institute for Studies found that the happiest members of society are those who have as little to do with society as possible.

Professor Henry Brubaker said: “The happiest man we found lived in the woods.

“He had installed razor wire around the perimeter of his tree house so that nobody could get near him.”

Professor Brubaker stressed that living in a city was ‘obviously insane’, but warned against moving to a cottage in the country in the hope of escaping other humans.

He added: “People in anoraks will walk past your house and you’ll probably be near a village full of weirdos.

“Just live in a tree. Or a hot air balloon.”