Drivers right up your arse have mummy issues

PEOPLE who intimidate other drivers by getting right up their arse were never hugged by their mums, it has been confirmed.

The Institute for Studies found that the closer some twat is to the boot of your car, the more desperate they are for childhood love and affection.

Professor Henry Brubaker said: “Next time there’s a BMW right behind you, instead of doing the wanker sign in the mirror, try blowing them a kiss instead.

“Maybe even encourage them to pull over so you can give them a little cuddle and say ‘There, there, mummy loves you even if you haven’t got any friends at school’.

“Our research indicates that these sorts of drivers have a desperate internal need to be close to someone or something, even the back end of your grubby car.

“In fact, they are probably virgins.  

“We believe the root of their behaviour stems from the fact that they never had a close relationship with their mothers.

“That is probably because their mothers realised they were fucking arseholes.”