Dumped man wondering if ‘too nice’ might mean something else

A RECENTLY-DUMPED man is not sure why being ‘too nice’ was such a problem.

27-year-old Wayne Hayes was unexpectedly dumped by his girlfriend of two years, Emma Bradford, after she apparently had a problem with him being excessively nice.

He said: “I don’t get it. Doesn’t everyone want people to be nice to them? Isn’t that one of the most basic factors in whether you like someone?

“I’d definitely rather go out with someone who was kind to me and cooked me nice meals, rather than a person who called me ‘arsehead’ and stole my credit card to buy themselves a car.”

Hayes now believes Bradford was using his niceness as an inaccurate term for other personal flaws: “Maybe she meant that I lacked personality, because I just agreed with everything she said and rarely had any opinions of my own.

“If that’s the case she should have just said so, instead of being too nice.”

He added: “If it makes her like me again I’ll punch a horse in the face. I won’t like it but I’ll do it.”

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Banks ‘could be forced to keep all your money’

BANKS are to introduce a policy of keeping all of their customers’ money for themselves, they have announced.

After threatening to charge interest on deposit accounts, banks now believe it would be prudent to permanently keep all the money they have been safely looking after.

A NatWest spokesman said: “In the current economic climate it’s impossible to give customers their money back without there being less of it for us to spend on bonuses and trendy chairs.

“Therefore we’ve decided to keep all the money. We can do that automatically so there’s no fuss or hassle, and we’ll even send you a leaflet explaining it with pictures of blandly attractive people.

“I’d like to thank our customers for their loyalty over the years, although frankly you’ve got to have a bank account with one of us unless you want your employer to think you’re mental and get robbed all the time.”

RBS customer Nikki Hollis said: “Today I got a letter from my bank saying I couldn’t withdraw any money because they’d changed the name on the account to Royal Bank of Scotland.

“I’m sure it can’t be legal, but then mis-selling PPI was pretty dodgy and they just had to pay a fine for that so I’m sure they’ve got it covered.