The governments new benefits cap is a cheerful bright red and must be worn by everyone who receives state benefit.
Ian Duncan Smith, the secretary of state for Dickens, stressed the baseball-style caps must be worn at all times or the money will be withdrawn.
Mr Duncan Smith said the hats will also make poor people 28% easier to avoid.
He added: “Most benefits claimants are easy to spot, with their tattoos, hooded eyes and the tell-tale ring of chocolate around their mouths. However, a few of them do look like Normals.”
Sporting one of the jaunty caps Mr Duncan Smith asked: “Do I look bereft of all morality? Splendid.”
Claimants can choose between three different designs, featuring the words ‘dreg’, ‘flotsam’ or ‘effluent’.
If the wearer is still claiming benefits after a year, they will be forced to wear a second cap on top of the original, and so on.
Mr Duncan Smith hopes the policy will force most scroungers into work rather than having to wear an increasingly wobbly pile of hats.