PEOPLE who ride e-bikes are less annoying than normal cycling dickheads, even though they could probably kill you, it has emerged.
Despite being dangerous bellends who think it is a good idea to ride on the pavement, e-bike riders are still favoured over the type of lycra-clad twat who spends five grand on a carbon-fibre wank machine.
Non-cyclist Martin Bishop said: “Speaking as both a pedestrian and a driver, I can safely say I prefer e-bike riders, even though they are all morons in charge of potentially lethal machines.
“Yes, e-bike riders love to swerve horribly close to you as you walk and cut you up and clip your wing mirrors while you’re driving. But they don’t ride two-abreast or dawdle along country roads causing five-mile tailbacks while insisting it’s ‘their road too’, like those other bike pricks.”
E-bike rider Tom Logan said: “I cycle on the pavement, don’t wear a helmet, haven’t got lights, and once the lithium battery on my bike caught fire on a train.
“And yet I don’t get on your tits as much as normal cyclists because I don’t have a pair of stupid little shorts showcasing my testicles and an enormous sense of entitlement. Well done me.”