ALL children are profoundly thick and will believe any old crap. Here’s some of the nonsense you no doubt bought into:
Australia is upside down
Sure, it’s called ‘Down Under’ and appears on the bottom of a globe, but that in no way justifies the foolish assumption that everything is upside down there. You somehow managed to believe this, despite watching Neighbours every day and not once seeing Jason Donovan fall into the ceiling of Charlene’s kitchen.
Trees can grow inside you
To your tiny, childish brain, there was a certain amount of logic in this. Trees come from seeds, therefore, if you eat an apple pip, you’ll soon have to deal with a tree trunk making its way out of your mouth. It seemed likely, despite the complete absence of people wandering around with branches of Granny Smith’s trees poking from their faces.
Worms don’t die if you cut them in half
Despite every other animal in the world reacting in the standard way when cut in half, ie. dying, you bought into the idea that worms had a mysterious superpower, and scissoring their body in two was somehow doing them a favour. Cutting up worms was definitely a benevolent act designed to double their population and not the first stirrings of psychopathic tendencies.
Everything was black and white in the old days
Old photographs are in black and white, therefore colour was only invented circa 1965. You never dug into the logic of this too deeply, but if pushed, perhaps you’d have said that a secret government programme must have been launched to colour in every single person, place and thing in the world.
If you swallowed chewing gum it would wrap around your heart and kill you
This lie was pedalled by your parents who didn’t want you chewing gum because they considered it common. However, all it did was convince you they were thicker than you because even someone with very basic knowledge of anatomy is aware that your digestive tract is not attached to your heart.
