SEVEN out of 10 old people are starting to notice that everyone in the room switches off the second they start talking, according to a new survey.
Age UK found that an increasing number think their disgusting opinions are being ignored simply because they are tedious and predictable and usually start with an anecdote about coins.
Margaret Gerving, a care home resident from Guildford, said: "I did a little experiment the other day and asked my grandson to remind me what we had been talking about during his last visit.
"He mumbled something about sardines when in fact I'd spent 45 minutes explaining to him why this country has been turning into Bangladesh since 1953 and why Sidney Poitier should never have been released from prison.
"If he wants to see a penny of my National Savings account he can get his backside in here and listen to me complaining about every single thing that's ever happened to me and why there was always a coloured man involved. In 40 degree heat."
An Age UK spokeswoman said: "There's a wealth of untapped bile just sitting there if people could only get past the shadow of death’s icy fingers, the gaping, wrinkled maws bereft of long-forgotten incisors and, of course, the foul, lingering stench.
"Old people don't want to be ignored or drugged with a mild sedative and locked in a trunk, they want to be active members of society, filling our lives with a continuous litany of petty, race-related grievances while you're trying to find out who keeps 'stealing' their Rich Tea biscuits.
"They want to share their rich portfolio of of N-words and P-words and D-words while teaching their little grandchildren how to spot poofs and Jews."
Age UK's awareness campaign starts this week featuring Brian Cox, Ian McKellen and lots of other actors who resemble an average pensioner in the same way that Last Of The Summer Wine is a bit like Stargate SG-1.
