KEEPING up with the linguistic pace online is a minefield. If you want to look like you’re up to date with the latest tedious phrases, make sure you avoid these:
It’s been a long time since anyone has rolled on the floor having any kind of fun, let alone laughing. If you’re the kind of person that still insists on popping a ROFL into a text you are not only insensitive to the fact that everyone is currently having a nightmare, but also woefully behind the times.
We all have one irritating tit of a friend who has texted something like ‘OMG Jameela Jamil is totes my spirit animal’. Luckily for everyone that phrase is now deservedly past it. If they text it again, delete their number.
Somewhere back before Trump and Brexit someone did something annoying with grammar in an attempt to be cute, and suddenly everyone was saying things like ‘I can’t come camping because weather’ or ‘I love Tom Hardy because sexual charisma’. Trump and Brexit are now done, just like this stupid way of talking.
Sounds fine coming out of the mouth of a 1980s New York drag queen, but less cool now it’s so ubiquitous that your mum says it when you tell her you’ve received a modest pay rise. Leave it alone and return to something more easily manageable for someone like you, such as ‘Nice one’.
There’s something very 2006 about the phrase ‘epic fail’, which makes the user sound like a teenage boy who’s just discovered a video of people falling off of skateboards on this cool new thing called YouTube. Best left in the past, along with things also big back then like Britney’s career and the Wii.