Sunday, 1st November 2020

Every Leave voter to have a lorry parked on their driveway

EVERY Brexiter will be expected to host a lorry on their drive or front lawn to help Kent deal with the 7,000-strong queues expected after the transition period.

The government believes Leave voters will be pleased to do their patriotic duty by allowing a 45-tonne heavy goods vehicle to park on their property while waiting to cross the channel.

A spokesman said: “Brexiters knew exactly what they were voting for so we presume they’ll be happy to find a truck full of aircraft parts parked right outside their front door.

“Sadly their perennials will be trashed and they’ll have to squeeze down the side of a filthy lorry to go to the shops, but that will be the least of their worries, what with the lack of trade deals and everything.

“We also hope they’ll be happy to invite the driver inside to use the loo, otherwise they’ll probably find several bottles of urine and a poo in their hedge.”

Leaver Norman Steele said: “They can crash it through the living room window and crush me to death if it annoys the anti-British Remain traitors next door.”