EVERY single person in a cocktail bar is hoping that the cocktail barman hurts himself, it has been revealed.
Instead of just pouring the ingredients together and shaking them, barman Tom Booker insists on throwing them up behind his back, spinning them and, for reasons that are utterly unclear, balancing them on the back of his hand like a fragile little bird.
Booker’s antics have meant that over 100 people are currently wishing serious injury upon him.
Drinker Nikki Hollis said: “I’ve been waiting so long that I’m more interested in seeing him damaged than getting a drink. Sure, I’d like my daiquiri, but I’d love it if he broke his wrist.”
Hollis’ friend Helen Archer said: “I’d like to grab his throat and shake him like that. Just pour it into the glass and give it to me, dickhead.”
Booker said: “Everyone loves it when I show off my cocktail skills. They always stare at me with this intense look in their eyes the whole time.”