EVERYBODY in a business meeting was thinking about sex, it has emerged.
Sales staff at NP Marketing gathered in Meeting Room 11b to discuss last month’s disappointing figures, during which they were all thinking about fucking.
Account manager Tom Logan said: “As Jacqui described her problems getting 3000 branded napkins made, I found myself thinking that she has a smashing pair of tits even though she’s about fifty.
“Also there’s something about the fact that she smokes loads of fags which makes her hot.”
Regional manager Emma Bradford said: “Although I was mildly concerned to hear we’re down 34 per cent compared to the first quarter of 2017, my main take-home from the meeting is that I reckon Tom’s got a big dick.
“Also I think I’m properly addicted to porn.”
Assistant manager Roy Hobbs said: “I’ve always been told that there are no bad ideas, so I was very disappointed when I got slapped down for suggesting we form breakout groups to go off and fuck.
“I think it would be good for morale.”